My tears pour so freely at church. Every Sunday, but some more than others. It’s the one place in this world where I feel my soul is completely exposed, and my burdens lifted. My first Mother’s Day without her, I walked in and instantly noticed our beautiful wooden cross, the foremost focal point, was draped in purple linen. I know the purple drape has many meanings, like royalty…but it meant so much more to me that day. I wept. There’s no holding back those kind of tears.

This past Sunday, two days before my first Christmas without her here, a beautiful voice filled our sanctuary with Mary’s Song. I hadn’t paid much attention to the lyrics before, but as the soft, deep, pleading melody filled the room, again I was moved to tears. The song is written as though Mary were singing it; Asking God to help her hold it together and be with her through everything she was going through. Those prayers have been my prayers.

For those mourning with me, during a time that is meant to be so full of joy, I pray for peace in your heart and a Hope that blazes with such promise. This pain is temporary, friends. He is with us and He is holy.

Breath of heaven, hold us together.